{"id":528,"date":"2026-09-04T16:40:51","date_gmt":"2026-09-04T22:40:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newsyouwant.ca\/?p=528"},"modified":"2026-09-25T14:58:51","modified_gmt":"2026-09-25T20:58:51","slug":"fanny-flaps-pig-eyes-micro-penises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/newsyouwant.ca\/?p=528","title":{"rendered":"The Ultimate Tribute"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Donald
President Donald J Trump<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Ultimate Tribute<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A luxury cosmetic spa is offering customers a chance to look like their favourite president. Adonis cosmetic surgery<\/strong> is inviting its clients to commemorate President Trump\u2019s 82nd birthday with look-alike plastic surgery. Jeff Skinner, the CEO of Adonis, describes the surgical procedures as \u201cthe ultimate tribute.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve enlisted Dr. Sean Barbarella, President Trump\u2019s personal physician, in order to provide the most accurate look-alike results as possible,\u201d says Mr. Skinner. He promises uncanny results. \u201cI\u2019ve examined every inch of the president,\u201d says Dr. Barbarella, \u201cI will never shake those images, so I was able to advise every step of the way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These aren\u2019t your typical procedures either. \u201cWe didn\u2019t want to do the usual things- nose jobs and the like. We wanted to offer our clients something really<\/em> special and unique to the president- so that there\u2019s no question who<\/em> they\u2019re emulating,\u201d says Mr. Skinner. \u201cWhen Jeff set out the criteria like that, we all immediately thought of Trump\u2019s distinctive meat curtains,\u201d says Barbarella. \u201cMeat curtains?<\/em>\u201d I ask. \u201cFanny flaps,\u201d Barbarella offers, waggling his hand beneath his chin. \u201cThe excess skin under the president\u2019s chins that looks like loose labia,\u201d Dr. Peelgud, a surgeon at the facility, volunteers, \u201cIt’s very<\/em> distinctive.\u201d \u201cWe\u2019re calling it the most fuckable neck in history<\/em>,\u201d says Barbarella. \u201cI don\u2019t think we\u2019ve agreed on that,\u201d says Dr. Peelgud.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The medical spa is also offering an eyelid reduction to give the appearance of smaller eyes, and a penis reduction and reconstruction to mimic the president\u2019s appendage. \u201cIf that isn\u2019t the ultimate experience, I don\u2019t know what is,\u201d Dr. Peelgud says. I ask the doctor if he expects a rush of clients wanting a penis reduction. \u201cIt\u2019s not just a reduction. We\u2019re reshaping it too, so that it resembles the president\u2019s button-mushroom to a tee. Think of the clout\u2026 It\u2019s as close as most men will ever come to holding the president\u2019s penis in their hand. I think a lot<\/em> of men will be interested.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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