President DJT lying prone on a stretcher. His makeup bag is underneath the stretcher and a small rat is peering into the bag. A second rat is exiting the picture with one of the president's hair pieces.
President Donald Trump

President Down?

President Donald Trump remains in hospital under tight security. The president was rushed to hospital on Wednesday following what the White House is describing as a minor fall. “Out of an abundance of concern for his well-being, he is currently resting in hospital,” says Press Secretary, Karoline Leavitt. 

The Press Secretary went on to describe the president as a “magnificent welded god” and claimed that, “Every fall the president takes, literally and metaphorically, he comes back stronger.” Some medical experts dispute this claim though, expressing concern for both the president’s physical and mental condition.

Visible bruising has been noted on the backs of both the president’s hands but experts point to other more concerning signs, such as losing consciousness in high level meetings, rambling incoherently, frequent stumbling, and regularly shitting himself in public. “It’s not so much the public defecation as the fact that he seems unaware he’s doing it,” says Dr. Obvyes. “The president is very much like a large baby, with the same emotional and bodily control. It’s a real concern.”

Media outlets, including ORCA News, have also received anonymous reports that pres DJT is in considerably worse condition than the WH is letting on. “Don’t believe what the WH tells you,” said one source, claiming to have inside information. 

Tune in to News You Want with anchor Julio Hatatas and reporter Barbra Bottomsnackle for all of the latest details as they track the president’s condition.

Deezer 

Spotify

Apple

  • A Tesla Optimus robot with the word immortality across the bottom of the screen.
    Reanimation Within Reach
    Mr. Musk suggested, “Could totally use Neuralink to reanimate president. DJT 2.0- smarter, faster, deadlier.”
  • A red emergency sign outside of a hospital. An ambulance is also in view.
    Chaos at Walter Reed Hospital
    Medical staff at Walter Reed hospital describe today’s scenes both inside and outside of the hospital as “utter chaos.”
  • President DJT lying prone on a stretcher. His makeup bag is underneath the stretcher and a small rat is peering into the bag. A second rat is exiting the picture with one of the president's hair pieces.
    President Down?
    The president was rushed to hospital on Wednesday following what the White House is describing as a minor fall.
  • Donald J Trump facing forward in front of the American flag. A second undressed picture of him on the right.
    The Ultimate Tribute
    Adonis cosmetic surgery is inviting its clients to commemorate President Trump’s 82nd birthday with look-alike plastic surgery.
  • Karoline Leavitt is holding a screaming baby while Rupert Murdoch stands off to the side with a bouquet of roses. Karoline has vampire teeth.
    The Press Secretary’s New Secret Weapons
    The komodo dragon has many serrated, curved and blade-shaped teeth. “They’re also coated in a protective iron, and that’s what inspired the design,” Dr. Jehkul says.
  • Kim K pictured from the nose to the breasts. Kim has a third breast.
    “Breast Summer Ever” with Kim K
    The newly augmented celebrity showcased a third breast in a series of promotional posts for her clothing line, SKIMS. “It’s shocking- and I love it,” said ex brother-in-law Scott Disick.
Scroll to Top