“Breast Summer Ever” with Kim K
Kim Kardashian is calling this her breast-summer-ever in a new campaign. The newly augmented celebrity showcased a third breast in a series of promotional posts for her clothing line, SKIMS. “It’s shocking- and I love it,” said ex brother-in-law Scott Disick.
Recent headlines have suggested that Kim isn’t the shining star that she once was, with mom Kris and sister Kourtney taking center stage with new projects of their own. Some suggest that this is the superstar’s attempt to recapture the public’s attention by outdoing her own family.
Kris Jenner says that she supports her daughter. “I’m happy for Kim- really. I think they look glorious! I would love to outfit her in some Frosted Nicicles.” “Nicicles” is the trade name for Ms. Jenner’s precious gemstone nipple replacement collection. In 2026, in a first-of-a-kind surgery, she had her own nipples replaced with Angolan diamonds, appearing in a tasteful semi-nude spread in Vanity Fair and launching a fabulous new career in erotic jewelry.
Some say that daughter Kim was not happy. “It was weird okay. Kris is like 96 years old and teenaged boys are jacking off to pictures of her crazy diamond nipples. Kim couldn’t handle it. And Kourtney didn’t help matters,” said one friend on the condition of anonymity.
Kourtney recently underwent surgery to have her breast implants removed, restarting a natural movement that has taken off in some celebrity circles. “I reject plastic surgery,” she said, “And I reject a society that makes women- and some men– do insane things to themselves in order to be beautiful. We are all god’s children.”
Kourtney recently launched a successful new line of natural products, overshadowing her sister Kim’s foray into acting. Beav, a lightweight oil made of castoreum and gold dust, sold out in less than 4 hours upon launching, and has gone on to become a must-have for the rich and famous. Together with Leezard, a potion made of beluga caviar and lizard semen, Kourtney is riding high on the success of her feminine skin care products. “Everywhere I go, people tell me that their pussy has never felt so correct– and I love that for them.” A new cream featuring rhino horn and baby urine is expected to launch in time for the holidays.
Can the breast-summer-ever campaign outshine her mother and sister’s success? Kim seems to think so. “Nobody has ever done anything like this,” Kim shared in an appearance on The View, “I am one of a kind.” “You certainly are,” Joy Behar agreed, asking, “Isn’t it uncomfortable though?”
The new SKIMS line contains several bras to accommodate a third breast, should Ms. Kardashian spark a trend. “It’s been known to happen,” the celebrity said with a wink.
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